The Dukes of Nun
by The 9th X
Summary: Once a merciless conqueror, the murdered General Magma becomes a merciless nomad after awaking in the mysterious world of Minecraft . On a search for his killer, he expects an easy win, but he quickly learns that there is a lot more going on in this blocky world than he thought. [I update chapters whenever I can]
1. Chapter 1- The First Chapter

There was a brief moment of pain. Then there was nothing. He felt nothing. The darkness surrounding him was so great, he felt as if he'd been smashed into a blob. No sound, no sight, thoughts were slipping away. Suddenly he heard a heartbeat in the distance. It got louder and louder until it was within him. His blood began to flow and a light penetrated the blackness. His vision was at first fuzzy as his hearing slowly came back. Magma gasped for air until his lungs began to burst with oxygen. Then he felt, saw and heard. Magma realized he was lying down on, something.

The floor didn't feel or look normal and he was surrounded by trees. Magma looked around the forest, too thick to see far. The only sign of life was his brother who stood proud with victory gleaming from his face.

It was annoying.

Magma dusted himself off and checked his red hood which covered his entire face with the exception of his eyes. He then checked his cape, a trophy, something he won in a duel along with the hood. There were no holes, well, no squares anyways. By the looks of the area surrounding him he would expect it. The world seemed to be completely made of blocks.

"So mister General!" his brother said obnoxiously, "how's it like being alive again?"

"I'm not sure"

His brother giggled, remarked on his silliness, and began to skip while singing. Magma would have strangled him but he had too much thought on his mind.

On reaching a tree, he recounted the past few hours that he remembered. The battle was almost over, he had Herobrine at his knees, the machine was recovered, how did he die?

He generally avoided asking his brother for information, but if anyone knew, he did.

"Wilfred"

"Silly General! My name is Cookiedooders! Chef Cookiedooders!"

Why didn't he see it before, Walley was insane again!

"Never mind your name, where are we? How do we get back?"

His brother sat on a blocked log and went into thinking mode, it looked hard. In fact it looked weird. Magma didn't realize it at first, but both of their bodies were very blocky. Most of Walley's purple and black tattered clothing seemed to be almost imprinted onto his skin, just as his was. Also, Walley's eyes were exaggerated with size. Sure he was crazy, but, wow.

Suddenly Walley sprung with excitement, "I remember! I remember! Herobrine broke his chains and cut your head off!"

Magma stroked his throat, "Really?"

"Oh yeah! Totally! Then he's all like, I'm outta here, and everyone's like, OMG the Generals dead, and I'm just grabbin' your head and ridin' after Herobrine, and Jeff's all like, OMG my love, and Bart's all like..."

"Stop!" interrupted Magma, "did you say Jeff loved me?"

"Yesser!"

"So she did!" Magma smiled remembering Jeff (yes she had a mans name, long story) and how he attempted to hit on her, like a thousand times, without success. He couldn't understand his past failures with her, it may have been that he was too aggressive, or killed a lot of people, or smelled, or anything! Magma felt sick knowing that she finally admitted loving him in the end, when he died, "So, are we in heaven are something close to that?"

"Not really, remember that portal people say Herobrine came through centuries ago?"

"We're in it?"

The Chef got excited, "Yep! I followed him right in with your head!"

"That still doesn't explain how I'm alive, not to mention with the rest of myself."

"Seems logical to me"

"Of course it does" Magma studied the area. It was, blocky. There was a lot of detail but this world seemed, simple. He wished he had another word to fit the description of his surroundings, but 'blocky', explained everything,

"Look what I got!"

Magma looked at the Chef who was struggling to carry a wood block.

"That's great Walley, but..." Magma then noticed the tree. It seemed as if the Chef had pulled the block from the tree without it collapsing. The tree floated above ground motionless, "Where are we?"

"What was that?" asked the Chef dropping the block in fright.

"What was what?"

"Listen!"

In the distance he heard someone groaning. The General and Chef followed the sound to a dark cave. The groans became loud and clear.

"We should help whoever's inside." Walley insisted.

"We can't, the sun is setting, and if we don't figure out where we are soon, I fear for our lives at nightfall."

"Oh come on! What would Jeff do?"

"Not this! She was afraid of caves!"

"And your point?"

"My point is that going into this cave is dangerous on its own, we don't even know how to survive here! Besides, the fact that they're in danger is their own damn fault. It's not our responsibility to help out."

"Please! We'll be in and out in a matter of inches!"

"Don't you mean seconds?"

"No"

Magma groaned in frustration, "Fine! In and Out!"

Walley squealed with delight and started for the cave.

Magma patted the hilt of his sword. The sword he found years ago made of a strange blue meteorite. As they entered the cave Magma noticed more than just a groaning, deep inside the maze of caverns he heard another sound. He shrugged when he recognized the noise, "Just a snake," he told himself as they slowly became consumed with darkness.

* * *

"Forgive us! Forgive us!" managed Quail, "It wasn't our fault! Forgive us!" Quail struggled as his master choked him, "Please! Forgive us!"

"You speak as a saint towards your men," the master replied, "but we all know you think of yourself. Besides, it was your job to send my army through the portal; instead I was stuck with a short supply of monsters and soon was chased from the flesh world."

"But my Lord! You got the Machine! Please let me free!"

"Yes, it is true that I was successful with taking it. But, I was forced to leave before I could even figure it out you idiot!"

"Mercy Lord Herobrine! Mercy! Mercy! M..." He drew his last breath.

"Pitiful," Herobrine sneered as he threw his former assistant. Herobrines white eyes glistened in the dark cave, "that goes to all of you! Before the Flatlands Epidemic I was stuck with dull creatures of the night. All of you are gifted with the code of Notch! Therefore you should be smarter and stronger. Your failures speak loud with the location of our meeting place!"

Herobrines men looked nervously around their chosen spot, a dark, mucky cave, unfit for even a commoner.

"But now that I am back, things are going to change!" Herobrine bellowed with ferocity, "We'll start by invading the main city, and killing my double!"

"But sir!" a solider asked, "Steve has left the city in your absence, no one knows where he is!"

"Then we'll find him!" Herobrine lifted a goblet of wine a servant handed him, "One way or another, Steve will die! Because what are we?!"

"Griefers!" the men chanted.

"And what will we do?!"

"Take back the Over World!"

Their celebration was interrupted by a guard who rushed in panting, "My Lord! Intruders! In the mine!"

Everyone drew their swords in response, Herobrine silenced them, "Who are they, what do they look like?"

"One was small and annoying but the second is built as a warrior! And he was wearing what looked like your old cape and hood!"

"His eye colors?" Herobrine asked, "Were they different?!"

"Yes, his left was green and the right was..."

"Orange..." said Herobrine, "Prepare the Zombies! Position the skeletons! We're in for a nether of a fight!"

The Griefers cheered as they prepared.

One Griefer in particular leaned towards Herobrine "Any requests?" he asked.

"If he escapes, send word to the others," growled Herobrine, "to listen for a man who calls others his citizens and is called General Magma."

The messenger nodded and left the cave.

As the Griefers cleared the cavern Herobrine looked to a wall. Formed in the wall was something only he could see, a face.

"Remember Notch," Herobrine said to the wall, "you made me into this, so be a good God and stay out of my way!" The face dissolved.

Herobrine clenched his fists, "What a bitch"

"Who?" A man asked who had just walked in. He large with huge sideburns, but the noticeable characteristic about him was his eyes. One was pure white while the other was a gloomy black.

"No one" Herobrine responded respectfully.

"Then be off"

Herobrine left the cavern. The man strolled into the room and took up Herobrines goblet. He looked to the wall and smiled, "Herobrines back, didn't see that coming did you?" The wall remained motionless. "Your brother was always my favorite," still nothing from the wall, "Coward," he laughed as he made his way out, "now I shall follow my son in victory!"

The wall stood still, but somehow, in its rocky crevice, seemed sad.


	2. Chapter 2- The Chapter after the First

_Hours Earlier..._

She couldn't do it. Jeff just stood there watching Magma as the crowd congratulated him, as his soldiers congratulated him.

"This was a bad idea"

"What's a bad idea?"

The voice made her jump, "Wilfred! Nothing! Bye!" She began to leave.

"Now hold on a moment," Wilfred stopped her, "Is this about the General?"

Jeff blushed, "No..."

"You're a bad liar"

"I don't know what's wrong with me! I shouldn't love him, but I do."

"What's wrong with loving the General?"

"I know you lived with him your whole life, but you weren't even all there! Remember when you tried to kill him after you turned back? Tell me, what was about him that made you want to kill him?"

"That was different..."

"No it wasn't! Tell me!"

Wilfred sighed, "I needed to fight him, I wanted to put reason into him but I had no intention of wanting to kill him!" he shifted nervously, "Sometimes he's extreme... but he wasn't always like that! Once he made sure the innocent prospered and the evil perished! He has a good heart. I believe in him."

"Walley," Jeff whispered, "he kills for fun."

"Then why do you feel love towards him?!"

Jeff stood silent.

"I'll tell you why!" Wilfred exclaimed, "Because despite his wrong doings, he saved us from the Society! He fought off the monsters and pirates and more importantly, he loves you! He... he is our hero. He is your hero!"

Jeff looked to Magma. He was still with his men.

"I..." Jeff stammered, "I'll tell him I love him..."

"But?"

Jeff looked sad, "I don't think I'll ever truly love him unless he changes..."

"Don't worry," Wilfred said with confidence, "Someday, he'll be pure, and you will be by his side."

Jeff smiled. She and walked towards Magma. As she got closer she slowed down. Her heart beat increased so much she feared sudden death.

And sudden death is what happened.

It happened so quickly, too quickly. Blood splattered across the crowd. The Generals decapitated head rolled to her feet. As Magmas large body fell the killer was reveled, Herobrine. He had escaped his chains. With the Machine underneath his arms Herobrine leaped down a hill onto a horse. The crowd went insane.

Jeff stared at Magmas head. Her whole body shook.

"My, love..." she managed trembling.

In a flash Wilfred took up Magmas head while mounted on his horse and rode after Herobrine along side most of the Calvary.

"Jeff stumbled to Magmas headless body and embraced it tight. She began to cry.

"You're not ready to die!" she cried, "I need to see you in heaven!" the area was quickly clearing around her, everyone charged after Herobrine; "Please... please change."

* * *

_Present Time..._

"Well shit," Magma grumbled, "Now we're lost."

"I don't think so," Wilfred insisted, "It doesn't look like we know where we're going..."

"Which means we're lost..."

"Oh really! And who's the General here?"

"Me"

"Oh yeah"

"Just please stop..." Magma was interrupted by a volley of arrows.

He quickly pulled Wilfred behind cover and studied the attackers; they seemed to be undead creatures. Just like the armies Herobrine attacked with back at his world. He knew how to defeat them.

Magma pulled out his sword, its blue blade was too heavy for the mere man to carry but his strength said otherwise. He ran across the cavern dodging the arrows while slicing up zombies. With just a few swift blows the undead fell easily.

"Ha! Is that all they've got?"

"They have snakes General! I can hear them coming!"

Magma positioned his sword towards the opening the undead had come from when he heard the hissing, "Let them come!" he yelled heroically.

What came out weren't snakes. The very sight of them sent a shiver up his spine. That was a feeling he hasn't felt since, since forever. They were green without arms and had little blocks for feet which helped them move without a sound. Their faces looked ghastly and their eyes hollow.

Five of them slivered out of the opening.

Magma regained his senses, "They don't have any arms! They are defenseless!" he laughed, "Die bitches!"

Not even a horse could throw him that far. Magma crashed against the wall across the cavern. They had exploded!

Wilfred ran to Magma and helped him up. Magma checked his clothing expecting it to be disintegrated. It wasn't, but the blast definitely put his body through hell.

"What the bloody hell were those!?" Magma sputtered.

"I have no idea," Wilfred lightened up, "We should name them!"

"I don't think this is the time..."

"Since they look creepy, walk silently all creepy-like, with creepy faces, and have a creepy way of attacking; I think they should be called... Lamborghini's"

"Lamborghini's? What is a Lamborghini? Where in the world did you get Lamborghini?

"I like it!"

"Don't call them Lamborghini's"

"Why not?"

"Just... just don't, it sounds stupid, just trust me..."

"As long as we find him"

"Who?"

"The guy we heard in the first place, the one who was groaning!"

"Do you not pay attention? The zombies made that same noise! We tried to rescue a zombie!"

"Zombie or human, big or small, fat or skinny, Muslim or Islamic, he needed our help!"

"You're an idiot"

"I know"

Magma held up his hand, a sign to be silent, he heard voices in the distance.

They both silently walked out of the cavern, through tunnels, to follow the voices. Soon they found another tunnel ahead with bright light shining out of it. They exited the cave and beheld a long bridge leading to another cave entrance.

They were on the edge of a deep abyss that seemed to have no bottom. On the other side was an old looking ladder lead all the way to the top. The sky was visible. Their escape was just above. Also across the bridge were two guards. They weren't undead or Lamborghini's. Instead they resembled normal people.

"The intruders!" one guard exclaimed, "I told you I heard something!"

They drew their swords. Magma smiled, he finally had an excuse.

The General drew his sword, "See you in Hell boys"

"In what?"

Magma responded by charging like lightning. The first guard was unable to respond in time as Magmas sword sliced through his waist. He tumbled in half. The second lost his nerve at the sight and backed away. That moment of terror became fatal for the guard. Magma sent his fist to the guards face breaking his jaw. A broken jaw instantly became the least of his worries as the guard found himself falling off the edge into the abyss.

Wilfred judged Magmas work, "He's not dead"

"Who?"

"The guy missing his lower half..."

The first guard groaned, barely alive.

Magma leaned down and stared into the guards eyes, smiling. After a few seconds he stood up and kicked both pieces of the guard off the bridge.

"To hide the evidence," Magma explained, "Now lets get up this ladder!"

"Did you feel no remorse?" asked Wilfred.

Magma stopped, "Remorse? Please... it felt great!" Magma began to climb the ladder, "Did you see his face when I punched the other guard off? Classic! Who says this blocked world has to suck? Let the body count commence!" he cheered.

"So you haven't changed..."

"Huh?"

"Nothing," Wilfred shook his head, "Let's climb this thing!"

"That's what I want to hear!"

As they climbed Wilfred felt sad, "Too bad..." he thought to himself, "...too bad."

* * *

In the world of flesh, in order to take down a tree, you needed tools. Here, your fists would do just as fine. During the Flatlands Epidemic, the only one who could perform such marvels was Steve. Despite all the fame Steve had won among the world of Minecraft, he decided to live alone thousands of chucks away from the nearest city. The world was getting too crowded for him so he explored the outer lands for sanctuary.

Steve used his inhuman strength to transport the logs he collected and dropped them by the porch of his humble home. It didn't look like much but he felt it was cozy and suitable for a house to live in. His only companion was a dog called Dexter.

Steve planted the seedlings that fell from the tree, double checked his farm, and then decided to rest on his wooden chair. Another perfect day and it was only noon!

His peaceful moment was quickly taken when he heard foot steps of someone walking across his yard. No one knew of his location and he was too far for anyone to travel, so it could have been only one person, well, God.

"Notch," Steve stretched and lifted himself from his chair, "What brings you to my domain?"

Notch stopped at the first step of Steve's porch, "Your needed Steve."

"I've been protecting Minecraft for over a thousand years, as a result, I'm retired," said Steve, "Plus, your problem can't be anything the Golden Ones can't handle."

"The Golden Ones are no more"

"What? They're dead?"

"No, after 800 years of little threat from the mobs, the Golden Ones ended their society and broke up into smaller groups"

"What of their leader?"

"Sky? He was the one who brought up the idea." Notch looked sad, "Steve, Herobrine has returned and there is no sufficient line of defense standing, but you"

"Herobrine is no real threat; you can hold him at bay yourself"

"I cannot, he is being protected by Huvud Gud"

"Who's that?"

Notch sighed, "That is all I can say. Good luck Steve."

He began to disappear.

"Wait! What makes you think I'll go?"

"Because you know it's the right thing to do..." And he was gone.

Steve looked to his dog, "Well Dexter, I guess you and I are going on an adventure!"

Dexter barked at the ground where Notch stood.

Steve looked to the spot and saw a letter. He leaned over and picked it up. It was addressed to himself and someone called, Wilfred.

"Interesting," Steve said to himself. He unsealed the letter and inside was a parchment of paper. On the paper was inscribed a mysterious message. Within the message it said: _Kill the General_...


	3. Chapter 3- The Chapter before the fourth

"Kill who?"

"I'm not exactly sure," Steve responded, "All I know is that Notch wants me to kill this General person, and I need your help."

Sky pondered Steve's proposition. He was tired, as it was night, and he had a busy day so sleep was his current priority. But then he was visited by Steve, thee Steve. The same Steve who had not been seen for years, so when he chose to see Sky first; it was a pleasant surprise. They were both speaking in Sky's throne room within the main city, "So why exactly do you want my help?"

"You were once the leader of the Golden Ones!" reminded Steve, "You have more than enough experience at combat. Plus, I need you to reunite the Golden Ones so we can defend Minecraft from Herobrine!"

Sky flinched when he heard the name of his past organization, "I'm sorry Steve, but the... G… Gol… Guh…"

"The Golden Ones?"

"Don't say that!" said Sky, "I don't use that word anymore! I am the King of the Sky Army! A King! And as King I must withhold my duties as protector of my Budder Kingdom, starting with the banning of that terrible G-word!"

"Butter?"

"It's Budder!"

"That's what I said..."

Sky grew furious, "Leave! At once! We may have fought side by side in the Flatlands, but now you should be following my orders, not the other way around! So I will not go on this quest of yours unless I decide to! Got it?"

Steve, not responding, went for the exit.

Sky watched him with regret, "Wait! Steve!"

"Yes your majesty?" Steve answered with bitterness.

"I haven't changed my mind," he pointed out, "but I will not allow you to go alone, for old time's sake," Sky called for a guard and gave him a message. The guard rushed out, "My guard will find available companions for your journey."

They waited for an awkward amount of time. After about twenty minutes or so, the guard returned with three people. Steve examined them, two boys and a girl who looked completely inexperienced.

"What's this?" asked Steve, "They aren't warriors, that's for sure,"

"Um," one of the three stuttered, "We're in training, and we're pretty good."

Steve laughed, "Ha! Let me see for myself!" Steve approached the three and made a quick inspection

"You!" he said pointing to the one who had spoke earlier, "You have no courage. I can see it in your eyes, well, the eye I can see. Get a haircut son; your long hair is covering your face, making you look like an even bigger coward! What's your name?"

He shrank back, "Um... Royce."

"Well Royce, you look like a gothic painter, shave that ridiculous goatee and get ready to be a real soldier!" Steve looked to his next victim, "You definitely look like warrior material!"

The other one smiled, "Name's Sampson, I'm ready for duty."

Steve chuckled and then took some paper from his bag. He wrote _you're an idiot _then held up the paper.

Sampson stood at attention, still smiling.

"You can't even read!" Steve murmured, "Bulk isn't everything! Brains are very important!"

Sampson blushed with embarrassment, "Yes sir..."

The girl prepared herself for the worst, she was next.

Steve examined her, "Back it up."

She grew red, "What?!"

"Back up the table..." he answered noting her outburst.

She slowly moved to a stone table that sat across the room and pushed it. Well, she tried to. The table didn't budge.

"What's your name?" Steve asked.

"Belle..."

"Well Belle, in order to be a soldier, you need to get some muscle."

"I don't need muscles to be strong!"

"I could pick that table up with one hand..." Steve looked disapprovingly to the guard.

He shrugged, "They were the only ones available."

"Oh well," Steve muttered, "I'll see what I can do with you guys, but you'd better not turn out as dead weight!" Steve began to exit the room, "Well? Come on then!"

The three caught up to Steve and followed him out.

"Good luck!" called Sky.

Steve and his new companions maneuvered throughout the castle to an armory. "Pick a weapon and get some spare cloths. We're leaving now." he said.

As they were collecting supplies Royce spoke up, "So, uh, what is our goal?"

"To kill the General"

"The who?"

"I'm not sure; Notch gave me a letter telling me to kill the General. It's our job to figure out who this General is."

"Is that all the letter said?" asked Belle while admiring a bow.

Steve paused, "No, there's more."

"Well, if we're your partners, shouldn't we know what the letter says?"

Steve looked to his eager companions, "Sure. Go ahead," he handed them the letter.

They all studied it:

_The Head smashes the shields of broken Gold_

_White eyes glare upon past labels_

_A blade of water brings threat, friend the General_

_Shadows reveal the unknown, kill the General_

_The Overall becomes overall_

_But unless for all, the Overall shall fall_

_Jealously and Pride and Rage must live on_

_Life and Joy and Love must live on_

_Or the Head shall rise_

"It sounds like a riddle," said Royce.

"What does it say?" asked Sampson, "Can you read it for me?"

Belle read it out loud.

"Wait," Sampson exclaimed, "Why do we have to both kill and friend the General?"

"I'm not sure," answered Steve, "I'm guessing that we need to gain his trust for some reason."

"What's the Head?"

"Again, I'm not sure. But some parts of this are obvious like the broken gold. That represents the Golden Ones who today are separated. The white eyes have to be referring Herobrine but I don't know any labels he'd be concerned about. The rest seems like gibberish."

"I guess we need to figure those parts out later then." observed Sampson.

"Exactly," Steve didn't notice but the three stood in attention, ready to go, "Oh, good. Let's get going, I want us to be out of the cities sight before dawn!"

Steve hurried out of the castle with his new friends following, their adventure had just begun.

* * *

"How about Lasagna?" asked Wilfred.

"Never heard of it" responded the waiter.

"How about a hamburger?"

"Can you just order something off the menu, and that exists, like steak?"

"But I don't like steak!"

"Walley!" yelled Magma. "Just take the damn steak!"

"Fine…" muttered Wilfred, "but it better be made of cow and not something like pig…"

"Then it would be pork!"

"And your point?"

"Oh my God!" bellowed Magma, "He'll take the steak!"

The waiter scurried to the kitchen. Magma sighed and pulled out his sword to sharpen it. A by passer stopped near them and observed Magma's work. The man stepped up to the porch of the restaurant and said, "What kind of blade is that? I've never seen it before. It looks like it should be diamond, but it's oddly shaped for any sword I've seen; plus, it's bigger than the average blade."

Magma looked up to the man; he was bald with a thick beard. His eyes were coal black but seemed to sparkle with curiosity.

"It's made of Dakej."

"Of what?"

"Well Citizen, if you must know, I found this blade many years ago in an ancient pond near the misty mountains of Ona. Dakej comes from the language of the creatures of Ona, it means: Water."

"A blade of water, interesting," the man thought for a moment, "where is this place you called Ona? Do you remember the coordinates?"

"It's far away from this land that's for sure," Magma chuckled, "even if I knew the 'coordinates', I don't believe you'd ever find it."

"Interesting," the man paused, "You don't strike me as the man who'd give up such information so easily, I mean with your mask and all, you seem much more secretive."

"This is just one of those things I don't mind sharing," Magma stared at his reflection in the sword, "I still have enough secrets to keep anyways."

"I see," the man paused again, "I guess I'll be off now, your food is coming. So long General."

"Goodbye Citizen," Magma accepted his food from the waiter then froze, "Hey! How did you know I was a General?" when Magma turned to the man it was too late, he was already gone.

"These steaks are bland!" complained Wilfred, "Don't you have any salt?"

"What are you even talking about?" screamed the waiter.

As Wilfred and the waiter argued, Magma leaned over and picked up a letter that was lying where the man had stood before. He opened it and read a mysterious riddle:

_Four lock on their target_

_A mist blackens their sight_

_The path ahead becomes dark_

_New direction must be took_

_So the four may succeed_

_But when time is at end_

_Blood of four must flow_

_Kill the General, kill the hero _

_Kill the Head and white eyes_

_In order to rise_


End file.
